Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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