i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
