What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just google imaged poop.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
