If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
