That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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