He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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