i'm lost and i look like a hooker
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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