Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
