I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
