I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
