I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Send help, water and tortillas.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
