Pants 0. Shit 1.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
