You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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