What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
