I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
