you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
