I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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