before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
