SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. đź’€
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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