WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
