Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i wish my penis had a tongue
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
im holly from the hills drunk
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
