He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
