Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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