I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
