at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
