you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
