the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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