the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
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