how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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