so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
