The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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