Got a toothbrush?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
