we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Sext me about skeletons
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
