Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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