I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Randomize