What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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