Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Girls should come with a carfax report
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
