Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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