No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
