Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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