went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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