4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
