My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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