i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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