she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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