i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
