i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
