You're completely useless in the revolution.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
