I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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