He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
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I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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