His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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