sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I deserve this hangover.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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