My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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